its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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