i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
