fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
