I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
