It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
