I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
