Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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