I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
