Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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