office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
