the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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