I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
