so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
