'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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