things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
