Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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