i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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