I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
