FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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