Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
All I want is dick and wine.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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