Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
