That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
