bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
