He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
