you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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