Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
