dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you had me at cake vodka
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
