1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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