Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
