The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
