I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
