So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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