all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize