theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I did not marry a roomba.
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