Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
