Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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