I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
