I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
