you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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