My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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