i don't plan on having that self control this summer
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
