So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
