I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
