it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
