i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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