i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
