No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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