Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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