I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
