I wannas sexs uuuuu
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
