Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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