Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
