I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
