I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
